


Lavender Oil

by Nebulad



Series: Awakening [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Earthborn, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 11:18:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4958479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebulad/pseuds/Nebulad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miriam shifted her weight from leg to leg, trying to maintain an air of composed dignity. It wasn’t easy because she felt fucking ridiculous- she’d asked Thane if they could go somewhere outside the hospital while the Normandy was getting a bit of rest. It was by no means shore leave, but she had a few free days and he could have as much time from her as he wanted.</p><p>He’d been excited. It was sort of difficult to tell when he was enthused about an idea because the sheer act of living seemed to thrill him, but he’d been eager to get out of Huerta and walk around the Presidium with her for a while. "Nothing strenuous," she’d promised.</p><p>"Forgive me if I carry a gun anyway, siha. You tend to invite trouble," he’d teased.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lavender Oil

Miriam shifted her weight from leg to leg, trying to maintain an air of composed dignity. It wasn’t easy because she felt fucking ridiculous- she’d asked Thane if they could go somewhere outside the hospital while the Normandy was getting a bit of rest. It was by no means shore leave, but she had a few free days and he could have as much time from her as he wanted.

He’d been excited. It was sort of difficult to tell when he was enthused about an idea because the sheer act of living seemed to thrill him, but he’d been eager to get out of Huerta and walk around the Presidium with her for a while. _Nothing strenuous,_ she’d promised.

 _Forgive me if I carry a gun anyway, siha. You tend to invite trouble,_ he’d teased.

She shook her head. Him being excited had made her excited, and also reminded her that this was the first time she’d ever been out on a date. Ever.

In her life.

Earth had been filled with men that were happy to fuck her and get angry when she fucked other people, and the galaxy had been no different, but no one had ever gone out with her just to enjoy her company (in a non-platonic sense, that is). She’d… panicked, a little, admittedly.

And bought a dress.

She didn’t make a habit of wearing dresses simply because it seemed to her an unbearably pretentious thing for her to do. She would have never worn the pale yellow sundress she’d picked out when she was a teenager, and laughed in the face of someone who did as _stuck up._ Phony. Faking some sort of refinement that was unnecessary so long as they had the strength of character to back up their naturally crass self.

Sort of ironic, considering that she very much was putting on airs to hide a weakness in character. Thane knew she’d been in a gang back on Earth, but otherwise knew remarkably little of her life before Anderson had saved her. She supposed in return she knew very little of his life before Irikah had saved him.

“Siha.” Thane’s arm slipped around her waist and her pulse shot up to a million before settling back down to a hum to match his (she guessed, anyway- he never seemed particularly ruffled). “You are beautiful, Miriam.” He traced his hand down her skirt and her face _hurt_ from the force of her grin. _Holy Mary but I am easy for this man._

“Are you all right?” she asked tentatively. She didn’t like to make everything about his Kepral’s but she worried about taking him too far from Huerta. She was about the farthest thing from a field medic there could possibly be, unless Kepral’s was somehow treated by picking him up biotically and slamming him against a wall until she felt he was dead enough.

Which it probably wasn’t.

“I will be fine, Shepard. Today has been… good. Hopefully it will remain so,” he said, offering her his arm. _Far too easy and he knows it too, bastard,_ she thought, accepting the gesture and following where he led. They were headed down towards a large contained pond with a market along the edge of the water, but in no particular hurry.

“It damn well better. Kepral’s knows I’m coming for it,” she said with a sniff. He laughed, so she nudged him with her hip. “Don’t believe me? I cured the genophage. How hard could natural biological illnesses be?”

“I believe Mordin cured the genophage,” he reminded her with a smile.

“Details,” she dismissed. “One of us had a gun to shoot everyone who got in our way.”

“Also Mordin.”

“I can’t even have one?” she asked, meaning for it to be a joke. Her voice cracked though and she gritted her teeth. _Mood killer._ “I’m sorry.”

“He was a good man,” Thane said in that slow, even way of his. It was oddly soothing. “There is no good way to die, but several satisfying means of doing so.”

“Oh?” She tried to blink back tears before her makeup was ruined.

“Bravely taking to the top of an exploding tower on behalf of the unborn offspring of an entire race, for one. Using your last move to save the life of a crewmate before being launched into space, for another.” She laughed, the sound bursting out of her like an explosion.

“Careful now. Joker’s still a bit sore about that one,” she warned. “But you’re right. Satisfying if not… good.” She must have looked troubled because he moved her over to the stalls that were set up along the water’s edge. There were quarians with beautifully embroidered suit wraps for sale, and asari with enormous shelves of books set up. Turians sold model ships while batarians sold repurposed armour on behalf of the war effort.

“It is crowded today,” he offered. “Good to see so many supporting their homeworlds.”

“How is Kahje?” she asked, following him through the press of bodies.

“As well as can be expected, but better since you stopped that diplomat from taking the defenses down. Did you thank Kasumi for me?” he asked and she nodded.

“She said she owed you one for the Prothean statuette,” Miriam replied. Thane frowned.

“We never found it- the lead was fake,” he argued.

“ _You_ never found it,” she corrected with a smile. He rolled his eyes, such a casual gesture that it made her laugh. “It’s very strange- I wouldn’t go near it, but you know me and Prothean artifacts.”

“It is comforting to see some small shred of self-preservation in you, siha,” he said, very carefully moving aside a large human couple to allow them to pass by.

“Oh you’re very cleve- Thane do you smell something?” she asked, panic suddenly spiking through her. He stopped, looking around- he had a higher vantage than her.

“Asari in a nearby tent are selling incense,” he reported, just in time to watch her clutch her throat in horror and take in her last, wheezing breath. His eyes shot open and he grabbed her as she desperately tried to get air into the lungs- a futile gesture, and she fumbled for the small brown purse she was carrying.

_(Purses too, such ugly pretentious things, unless they held guns which in all fairness this one did but it wasn’t what she was looking for where was it-)_

She fell onto her knees, her head light and her world spinning. Thane was shouting and they suddenly had a very wide berth around them- very luckily for her, a human realized what was happening and slapped her quivering hands away from her bag.

The woman- tall, red hair, dark eyes- tore her purse apart with brutal efficiency and thank every god, goddess, and mortal on the Citadel that Thane didn’t try to stop her. She finally found what Miriam was looking for, just as dark shadows started to blot in the corner of her eyes. The stranger jammed the needle into Miriam’s thigh and the Commander gulped air greedily. “Get her to Huerta,” the woman said to Thane quickly. “I’ve called a cab.”

Miriam was shaking so hard that her legs wouldn’t support her, and was furious with herself for needing Thane to all but carry her to the skycar. He was shaking almost as badly. “Anaphylactic shock,” she told him as soon as they were off. “Tell the doctors I’m in anaphylactic shock, and I’m allergic to lavender.”

“What does that mean?” he insisted, his voice too loud.

“I-I can’t-,” she was shaking and she was _terrified_ and she knew that the adrenaline would only last for so long and she might not be so lucky-

. . . . .

_A young girl in platform boots gawks at a perfume display. All were too expensive for her, but maybe she could get a free sample or some shit and smell nice for the rest of the day. Aiza said the smells were too strong for her and gone to look at the expensive winter coats that neither of them could afford._

_She was alone when she got a faceful of lavender perfume and stopped breathing._

_The cosmetics counter attendant called an ambulance and had her in a hospital in time to save her life. It took her three days to stagger her way back to the Reds with her new medication- a needle that she was supposed to ram into her thigh if she ever stopped breathing again. “Stab your thigh, inject the medicine, then get yourself to a doctor as quickly as possible,” the pharmacist had said sternly._

_She awoke gasping for breath for four more days after that, and sometimes on the darkest nights for years afterwards. She jolted up and desperately breathed in air as if she couldn’t, because she couldn’t forget laying on the floor of the department store and trying to suck air in through a closed throat._

_. . . . ._

_Joker was safe and that was her only consolation as she floated through empty space. It wasn’t necessarily a death sentence yet- perhaps they would get a signal up before the gravitational pull of the nearest planet fried her body to a crisp._

_No use lingering on that thought. There were many more proactive things to be doing with these precious seconds, and most involved trying to float her way somewhere convenient for pickup. She turned her comm on to try and gauge the situation when she felt a bit of debris scrape across her back-_

_-and suddenly there was no air._

_It couldn’t have been the allergy- there was no lavender in space- but she reached back and found that her oxygen tube had been ruptured by the passing shattered piece of her ship. There was no air in space and she was drowning in an atmosphere that she couldn’t_ breathe. _Her eyes rolled and felt tight and too tense and her world went dark around the edges as she tried to suck in oxygen that just wasn’t there._

_. . . . ._

“I’m scared, Thane,” she said, her breath coming in short, fearful bursts. She was having a panic attack and the drell looked about three seconds away from one himself. She felt horrible for not explaining her allergy to him but at the same time air was precious and air was leaving and she imagined that she could _feel_ her throat closing up again, for the last time-

“It’s all right, Miri, we are almost at the hospital,” he assured her, desperately holding on to an evenness of voice. She’d rarely ever seen him properly upset but this was coming awfully close.

“I’m afraid to not breathe,” she whispered hysterically, the very last of her calm fluttering away as she buried her fingers in her hair and hunched over. “Please, I don’t want to stop breathing.”

Half an hour later, she was fine.

. . . . .

Thane wasn’t given the okay to visit her until an hour after she’d stabilized, and found her staring out the window and just lying on a hospital bed. She was still wearing the dress- they’d suggested a gown but she hadn’t been interested. Better to use it on someone who required surgery or something. She simply stared forward, for all the world feeling like someone had scooped out all her guts.

“Siha,” Thane breathed, reaching out carefully to smooth her hair down. She blinked and looked over at him.

“I’m sorry,” she said evenly, trying to use her Commander voice. If she didn’t she would cry. “I made a mess of our date, didn’t I?”

“Of course not. Please, Shepard, no one has explained to me what happened,” he begged. She sighed and sat up, still avoiding looking at him.

“I’m allergic to lavender, and they were burning lavender incense,” she said with a shrug.

“Are human allergies… like quarian ones?” he asked.

“No- yes? Mine is- lavender could very well kill me, it could have-” She stopped, counted to ten, then continued evenly. “But no, most allergies just mean you have to avoid some things. Mostly food products- Kasumi is allergic to lactose, in a sense.”

“In a sense?”

“It’s more of an intolerance. Her digestive system can’t process it properly,” she explained. He sat next to her and she leaned on his shoulder, closing her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he told her quietly.

“I told a man with Kepral’s that I was afraid to stop breathing. At the very _least_ I’m just sort of an asshole,” she said stiffly. He laughed, a little.

“I was far too preoccupied trying to figure out why you’d stopped _breathing_ to try and play _who has the worst disease,”_ he teased her gently. She smiled. “Are these allergies common among humans?”

“Yes- not so much the whole dying thing, but lots of humans have foods they can’t eat or products they can’t use. Can I ask you for a favour?” It was better to just blurt it out then try to work her way towards it.

“Anything,” he promised, his arm winding around her.

“I need you to get a hold of the files for this incident from the hospital and destroy them,” she said, her Commander voice wavering a bit. He looked down at her.

“I didn’t expect you to say that,” he admitted. “Why would you want the records destroyed?”

“Because allergies are usually very treatable, and in the military it’s a necessity to be cleansed of them before engaging in active duty,” she explained.

“Why was yours overlooked?” he asked.

“Because I told them I didn’t have any. You- You have to understand, Thane, I was _scared._ There were… back on Earth, there were people who wanted me dead. They had killed my friends to get to me, and my entire life in the streets was-” She stopped. She didn’t want him to know this about her. She wanted to just be a slightly silly, uptight marine in a yellow dress with him. “I had to leave,” she said meekly, imploring him to understand.

“So you joined the Alliance,” he prompted, a wordless promise to not ask. She nodded.

“Anderson was in the area recruiting and I begged him to take me on. He was off duty and I was pathetic- I was strung out and hungover and-” _Too much, too much, too much._ “I’m sorry, I just-”

“Go on,” he said quietly, his arm unmoving around her hip.

“He saw something in me- I don’t know what, but he agreed to let me join. When I got the paperwork to fill out I was just… struck with this terror that they wouldn’t take me if they had to pay to fix my allergies. I thought that if they knew I was lethally allergic to anything that they would send me back to Earth and I couldn’t- I was _terrified,_ I couldn’t go back Thane. So I lied.” She looked down at her hands, feeling like Aiza had said she was supposed to feel after a confession. Lighter. Unburdened.

“Would it matter now?” That was a good question- would they ground the Normandy in the middle of a Reaper War to try her for lying on government paperwork?

“Not _right now,_ but it would be on my record. _Please,_ love, I’m begging you- that stupid record in the only clean thing about me,” she said, and that was _too much_ but she didn’t take it back, staring into his eyes and trying to discern how he was feeling. He was remarkably good at restraining emotions, but that was paired with being a highly empathetic person- sometimes she could puzzle it out.

“I will do as you ask, but only if you get the treatment,” he said finally. She laughed a little, quietly, relief flooding through her. She’d been meaning to get her condition treated in secret, but on the SR-1 she hadn’t had the opportunity, and on the SR-2… well she’d sort of assumed that maybe Miranda had cleared up her problem for her.

Evidently not.

“Anything you like,” she sighed, the tension bleeding from her body. He pulled her down to lie with him on the bed, closing his eyes.

“Any other evolutionarily inconvenient things I should know about you?” he asked, the corner of his lips tugging upwards. She laughed, swiping at him lightly.

“I don’t know how to swim,” she admitted, which actually made him sit up in surprise. “I’ve never been near a body of water in my life,” she said defensively. He shook his head, which she supposed was reasonable for a man who’d grown up around hanar.

“Unacceptable. When this is over, we will go to Kahje and teach you,” he said firmly, settling back down and brushing his fingers through her hair. She laughed softly, her stomach warming at the prospect, no matter how impossible it was.

The Reapers gone. Thane healthy. Her, alive. All on Kahje, learning to swim.

“Only if Kolyat comes,” she stipulated. “You’d be too soft on me. I need someone who doesn’t care if I drown.” He laughed, genuinely and until he was breathless (in a _good_ way), and that was almost worth the near-death experience.

**Author's Note:**

> im just gunna keep posting thane fic until someone likes it goddammit this lizardman makes me sad


End file.
